Endoftheyearouch!

Cliché

It's the last day of December and consequently the last day of 2014.

I remember how, in past years, this meant a time of reflection and lonely munching on a pen, trying to scribble down some thoughts and New Year's resolutions.

I see now this good habit brought me where I am today: completely clueless of what's gonna happen next!

And I'm not talking 2015, though that's a HUGE number.

Mirror-mirror...

I see myself pointing finger at all the Good things that happened this year. And the Bad things alike.

(There's two columns in my notebook, in case you're wondering.)

I see myself spinning wheels and moving mountains, cutting through the pathway for my dreams.

And I see myself not knowing what to do next, either good or bad (those two categories, again!).

Take a deep breath. Let's recap!

- What did I do with my time in 2014 that mattered?
- Who did I help beat themselves up at their own game and come out thriving?
- To whom was I of any help, if not a nuisance and a pain in the... arse?
- Where did I go that broadened my horizons and taught me tips & tricks for better living?
- How many books did I read this year and how many of them really mattered?

You see, all these questions are helpful in some way. But they're also shaming me to death. As there's no Excel-calculated way of responding perhaps other than being truthful and honest about 'em.  

I don't own a bachelor in life-sciences.
But even if I did, my most honest (terrible) response would be... YES.

For a writer, that's a no-no. But for me, that's part of the deal: I get to keep the intimate details to myself and not share any with you, dear audience. (No, really; I'm joking!)

Apart from that, I'm scared to face the fact that this might not have been the best year of my life. But it surely was the most rewarding and the most transforming!

I lived to face a long dark tunnel and came out to see the light. And that felt odd, compared to the obscurity beginning of twenty fourteen. But I thank God that all those songs speaking of hope and a fancy blue heaven were not lying: I made it, and I made it BIG!

I now stare at this page, grin on my face, feeling a darling of Heaven. It's The Big Guy who helped me through it all, however redundant that sounds. I can only thank Him and hope and push for a better 2015. Better than all those in the long queue of 29, as I'm turning thirty.

It's gonna be a round year. It's gonna be a tough year. But in the end, it's gonna be all beautiful and worth the sweat. Every... single... drop.

Read between the lines.

As both coffee and God-lover, I ask myself if people nowadays take sugar in their coffee with a Bible verse or two, or I'm the only one.

Far from being a religious-freak, I do feel caught in the act when people stare at me while pulling a Bible out of my bag to read it in... Starbucks!

What's the difference between doing just that and scrolling through a book on a tablet or notebook? Or going through e-mail on your laptop?

When did we become so biased about what's socially acceptable and what's not, while sipping a whipped-cream caramel mocha with cinnamon sprinkle in the middle of the day?

I feel odd. I feel looked at. And I feel judged by people who don't know me, just because I don't hide my habit behind a screen or the preoccupied look on a face covered with glasses.

I see people doing that all the time: staring amazed or nodding their head in disbelief. Or simply thinking you're "stupied".

I fumble when that happens. I look down in my Book and keep reading, just to shoo away the raised eyebrows and grins. I feel outnumbered and less than minus in a society that values looks over brains and brains over heart. A pale reflection in the mirror of a crowd so avid for deceit that I wonder: When did we become so keen on being lied to, with a bow-tie and cherry on top, after all?

My question's left unanswered as I look away and read on. But somewhere in the back of my head a still small voice keeps on nagging: I might be the last Mohican in a world swiftly changing, embracing atheism or computer science as the new religion.

And so I can't help but think: You're going down, World! Down down low, and you don't even know it. Hooray for me, 'cuz I'm on top... sipping my mocha, reading my Book. (Yey!)

Season greetings

Stop and stare at the window. Delete the tears from your cheeks and the blurry image from the back of your head. Just stop and stare at the window full of Christmas lights, smell the coffee and enjoy the roses. That imaginary bunch of roses received from the imaginary love of your life who handed you an imaginary coffee mug with a dazzling imaginary smile. Kill time. Shoot it in the head, if you will. But just kill that bastard clock ticking 30!

It's that time of the year again. That time of the year when Christmas lights are on, Christmas ornaments poke you in the eye and Christmas gifts are exchanged by fumbly Santa Clauses invading the neighborhood. That dreadful time of the year when everything seems blank as snow covers all, empty hearts alike.

Erase and rewind. This is not what we agreed on! You should write about Christmas lights and Life, about Christ born and Hope, about Joy invading Earth and giving, giving, giving.

That's my editor nagging me about the above mentioned topics, stuffing my ears with a lot of the sweet cozy warmth that Christmas with loved ones is all about. But this year... This year I've lost all hope! I simply cannot write about the peachy side of Christmas when thousands face the winter cold shoeless and homeless, no warm meal and no turkey or pork, no chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

You see, we've gotten used to the glam and the glitter. But the true meaning of Christmas, that far surpasses Santa and a tree full of globes, is hidden from the common eye in hearts of men and women all around the world. We are so selfish to believe that we're somehow entitled to a peaceful Christmas, when reality is that we're offending our neighbor with our lack of interest in the affairs of the world.

Everybody turns towards family at Christmas time (if they have one!). But instead of waiting for a sign from Heaven, like the Magi did, I beg you to turn your eyes upon Christ and see Him in the face of a frozen child singing carols, in the rugged ol' grandma crossing your path, or in the long queue at the supermarket where you can make friends with complete strangers and pass on the joy.

You don't need to be rich to gift someone with a smile this Christmas. Just try to be genuine and share some Love, that's all!