Endoftheyearouch!

Cliché

It's the last day of December and consequently the last day of 2014.

I remember how, in past years, this meant a time of reflection and lonely munching on a pen, trying to scribble down some thoughts and New Year's resolutions.

I see now this good habit brought me where I am today: completely clueless of what's gonna happen next!

And I'm not talking 2015, though that's a HUGE number.

Mirror-mirror...

I see myself pointing finger at all the Good things that happened this year. And the Bad things alike.

(There's two columns in my notebook, in case you're wondering.)

I see myself spinning wheels and moving mountains, cutting through the pathway for my dreams.

And I see myself not knowing what to do next, either good or bad (those two categories, again!).

Take a deep breath. Let's recap!

- What did I do with my time in 2014 that mattered?
- Who did I help beat themselves up at their own game and come out thriving?
- To whom was I of any help, if not a nuisance and a pain in the... arse?
- Where did I go that broadened my horizons and taught me tips & tricks for better living?
- How many books did I read this year and how many of them really mattered?

You see, all these questions are helpful in some way. But they're also shaming me to death. As there's no Excel-calculated way of responding perhaps other than being truthful and honest about 'em.  

I don't own a bachelor in life-sciences.
But even if I did, my most honest (terrible) response would be... YES.

For a writer, that's a no-no. But for me, that's part of the deal: I get to keep the intimate details to myself and not share any with you, dear audience. (No, really; I'm joking!)

Apart from that, I'm scared to face the fact that this might not have been the best year of my life. But it surely was the most rewarding and the most transforming!

I lived to face a long dark tunnel and came out to see the light. And that felt odd, compared to the obscurity beginning of twenty fourteen. But I thank God that all those songs speaking of hope and a fancy blue heaven were not lying: I made it, and I made it BIG!

I now stare at this page, grin on my face, feeling a darling of Heaven. It's The Big Guy who helped me through it all, however redundant that sounds. I can only thank Him and hope and push for a better 2015. Better than all those in the long queue of 29, as I'm turning thirty.

It's gonna be a round year. It's gonna be a tough year. But in the end, it's gonna be all beautiful and worth the sweat. Every... single... drop.